I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize