She is in my trunk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
