There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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