Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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