Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
