i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Life is so much better after having sex.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
