rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
