yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
