fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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