batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dick very happy bro
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
