Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
