bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize