you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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