just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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