There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
