If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
