whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
