so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
