i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
