but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
