me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So squirting runs in the family.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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