i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I supernannyed him into submission
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
