john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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