I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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