i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
