Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
