My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
