I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
