Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
