ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize