her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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