I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
