so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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