You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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