I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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