do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
