i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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