I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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