You can't special order awesome
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
