today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
