just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
