oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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