There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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