She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
