what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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