If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
