Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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