For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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