If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
