i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize