I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
