I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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