I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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