So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
