Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
