He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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