He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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