What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize