This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
