That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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