Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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