No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
