you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
