You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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