Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
