i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize