So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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